How do you know what to tap on?

Healing yourself, loving the world

When something happens in the moment and I have an over-the-top reaction, how do I know what to tap on?

I don’t really – I just try different language until something “pops” or clears.  Yet as I think about it, I can see four “levels” of tapping possible.  (Probably many more – I just don’t know them yet!)

The four levels can be explored by asking:

  1. Is this a current issue?
  2. Is this a reflection of my past experiences?
  3. Is this a collective issue?
  4. Is this an ancestral issue?

Current and Past Experiences

The first two levels are pretty obvious. In the first case, an issue occurs and you notice a strong emotional reaction. If the issue is current and is really just related to what is happening, then tapping on the current event will clear it and you are done.

The second level is also pretty common – the current event is a reflection of past experiences.  Many things that cause us to react are a repeat of a previous pattern or experience.  These experiences create the filter we use when we view this current event and it heavily influences our response.

When tapping, include language as:

  • Even though I’m so angry, and this is a familiar feeling, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
  • Even though this reminds me of feeling powerless when I was 8 and [fill in the specifics], I deeply love and accept myself.
  • Even though I’m so angry and this is a familiar feeling, I am open to the idea of releasing this pattern.

Tapping on specifics of the current event as well as the past events will most likely bring relief.  Remember, the more specific the description, the better!

Collective Energy

A collective issue is when we are tapped into a collective feeling or experience without ever having had that experience ourselves. Sometimes we “carry” emotion for a group. Or sometimes we might choose deliberately to sense into the collective to offer healing energy. Rather than faulting ourselves for being too sensitive, or thinking it doesn’t affect us, we can tap on the energy while holding the intention of contributing to the healing of the greater good.

Even though I feel this fear, the uncertainty, this collective energy and concern for our survival, I love and accept myself and see the healing power of this tapping.

Even though I sense this apathy, this ignorance, these selfish attitudes of “me,first”, I am open to the idea of accepting who we are.

Even though we’ve grown soft and fear sacrifice, I’m open to remembering that we developed our country out of a love for country and a willingness to work hard.

Family Energetics: The Family System and Ancestral Level

Last week we talked about tapping for the collective. One of the invitations with the collective is to move TOWARDS the feelings, recognizing that you are part of the whole and allowing yourself to actually experience the emotions.

Moving away from the feelings with the fourth level of tapping, the ancestral system

Working with the ancestral system, it’s almost the opposite approach: recognize the feelings but move AWAY from them being yours. Recognize the issue as belonging to someone else in the family system. The mere identification of the issue as someone else’s brings relief and clarity. This is because it’s the hidden, secret, or unprocessed emotions of members past that show up today in our lives as entanglements or blockages.

So if you are dealing with an issue and you have more intensity than you expect, ask yourself:

  • Within my ancestral and family system, who am I feeling this for?
  • Who in my family system couldn’t feel this?
  • Who needs to be seen?
  • What needs to be seen?

You might be surprised at how quickly the answers show up.


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Deborah Donndelinger

Deborah Donndelinger

I'm writing from Maryland, but my heart goes out all over the world. I'm cheering you on as you tackle the hard stuff, embrace the easy, and show up to help others.