New Year’s not-a-resolution tapping

Healing yourself, loving the world

I’ve always thought the timing of making New Year’s resolutions has been wrong, too rushed, and just not in synch with nature.   It definitely is not in synch with my internal timing and all the emails I get from other coaches asking me to set goals really irk me!  I personally use the entire month of January to reflect and get clarity and I just discovered that there’s a systemic reason for this. From a human design perspective, the New Year doesn’t begin until later in January.  Sort of cool that the internal time table I was already following is also a cosmic time table!  (See closing the door at

The rush to make resolutions can actually rob us of a powerful reflection and intention setting process. Now is the time to gently reflect on this past year, to sink into the emotions of both joy of a life on track and perhaps even despair of a life not meeting our expectations.   But don’t run from this joy or this despair – allow the journey into the feelings to guide you to what is important.  Be willing to explore the shame of goals unmet to find the deep desire underneath those goals.  Be willing to let go of facades and others’ expectations and listen to what’s deep inside of you.

And then your deep desires can bubble up from inside of you, the commitment can build, the excitement of what is possible can ignite you, and you’ll find extreme clarity about what’s worth spending your time on, your energy on, your life on!

So let’s consider a few questions:

Looking at this past year, what have you done, become, let go, changed that makes you smile?  If the answer is nothing and just the very question drags you down, that’s a pretty good sign that we can do some tapping and do deeper into what message is asking to be heard.

The set-up:

Even though my life has failed this year, and I have NO successes whatsoever, I am open to the idea of loving and accepting myself.

Even though I know I have some positive changes in my life, I just can’t remember them right now, I am open to the idea of loving and accepting myself.

Even though I hate New Year’s and all those stupid resolutions folks are making, they  never work for me, I am open to loving and accepting myself anyway.

Moving through the points:

I hate New Year’s

I hate examining my life

I hate feeling less-than

I hate feeling like I’m not happy

I hate all these “make more money, lose weight, be grateful, quit smoking, start exercising, change your thinking, change your life” resolutions that only make me feel worse

I hate judging myself

These new year resolution feelings

These new year resolution feelings (include the liver point)

These new year resolution feelings

Back to the set-up

Even though I’m not clear yet what’s important to me, I’m open to the idea that my feelings show me the way.

Even though I want to know what’s important to me, I’m forgive myself for not listening to myself yet.

Even though I’ve forgotten that I’m unique and powerful and bold and my life purpose is so important, I forgive myself for not remembering that yet.

Moving through the points:

What if I can make a difference?

What if I can be happy?

What if my presence does matter?

What if I’m part of a bigger whole and I just need to do my part?

What if it’s okay to feel unsure of what’s next?

What if it’s okay to want more?

And what if it’s okay to not resolve anything?

What if it’s okay to follow the gentle path of my unique life?

I trust the divine unfolding of my life, the value of my life’s purpose, and the beauty and uniqueness of my life’s expression.


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Deborah Donndelinger

Deborah Donndelinger

I'm writing from Maryland, but my heart goes out all over the world. I'm cheering you on as you tackle the hard stuff, embrace the easy, and show up to help others.