5 stages of your healing journey

Healing yourself, loving the world

Each of you is unique, and your healing journey is specific to you. With each client I work with, there’s a combination of three parts:

  • Learning the unique energetic makeup of the client
  • Collaboration between their intuition and mine
  • Clearing past stuck emotions and patterns

Some clients benefit from knowing their Myers-Briggs type, others from knowing Human Design, some Enneagram, some Gene Keys, and some none of this. Yikes, it can get confusing. And then add in the ancestral work I facilitate for people, and you’ve got ten paths forward.

While each person’s work is unique, there is an overall pattern of progress.

I see it as five steps:

  1. You don’t know the depth of your hurt.
  2. You realize you’re hurting and wonder if you can feel better.
  3. You start the work of healing, often with help from another.
  4. You reach the critical mass of healing work which can feel like turning a corner or reaching the top of a steep hill.
  5. You feel relaxed and comfortable in your own skin and now have resources for growing and exploring.

You don’t know the depth of your hurt.

When you’re in this stage, you don’t know what’s possible for feeling better. Two things happen that move you to the next stage. One is that life becomes unbearable, and you need relief.  Or you see others change around you, and you wonder if you can too. For me, the feeling was a sense of restlessness and looking for answers. Some people feel depressed or anxious.

You realize you’re hurting and wonder if you can feel better.

Once you realize you are hurting and want help, you start looking for ways forward. Resources might appear for you. Friends might have ideas. You might come across a book that opens up a new avenue. To me, it’s a combination of serendipity and desire.

You start the work of healing, often with help from another.

When you start the journey of healing, you don’t know what’s possible at the end. It’s like trying to see around a curve. You can’t see the end until you’re in the middle.  Some of us are fine with the unknown and leap in. Others of us need more information and reassurance. It’s important to find resources that work for you, but there will always be an element of not knowing the final destination.

You reach the critical mass of healing work.

When you’ve reached the critical mass, you might feel less drama. On the EFT forums I used to moderate, there would be discussions of people feeling “bored” because all the drama was gone. It’s not boredom but the space to start choosing rather than reacting and being triggered.

You feel relaxed and comfortable in your own skin and now have resources for growing and exploring.

When you’ve reached this stage, the best way to describe it is feeling more relaxed as yourself and feeling comfortable as yourself. You’ve heard the expression rose-colored glasses? This stage is like you’ve been wearing heavy, dark, out-of-focus glasses that tainted your view of the world, and now you’ve taken them off. Everything feels lighter and looks clearer. It’s a great place to be.

Photo by Chris on Unsplash

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Deborah Donndelinger

Deborah Donndelinger

I'm writing from Maryland, but my heart goes out all over the world. I'm cheering you on as you tackle the hard stuff, embrace the easy, and show up to help others.

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