More on healing from sexual assault

Healing yourself, loving the world

I have worked with a variety of women who’ve experienced sexual assault in a wide variety of forms.  Each and every one of them has experienced relief working with EFT and me.   My job is to hold the space for them in a compassionate and loving way, guide them through the process of getting relief with EFT, and basically walk with them through their experiences as we lighten the load energetically.

Deciding to get help

I don’t know how we decide when to get help or not.  Healing is a process of reclaiming ourselves and sometimes that means tucking what happened away in the recesses of our minds.  And other times that deliberately means reaching out to another.   And for some of us, that reaching out to another can sneak up on us.

Many paths to healing

For myself, I was in therapy for an unrelated family issue and the subject of childhood sexual assault came up.  I had known it had happened but I was completely numb about the experiences.  Since that initial revelation, I have worked with two different therapists for several years each, worked with one therapy group, attended 12 step meetings for several years, and then went on to work on a hotline myself helping others.  I then worked with several different EFT practitioners and also did some Family Constellation work on it.  I’m now at the point where I no longer feel rage at my attacker.  I’m still reclaiming my relationship with my body.  And all of my work has created this space where I can be with others as they process their experiences.

Shame to courage

I know the courage it takes to decide to address what happened with a professional.   So much of the shame we felt can show up in just deciding to get help.  And sometimes that shame can stop us.

I’m very clear that each person’s path to healing is unique and may or may not involve another person.  I personally believe that since the assault happened with another person that the healing also happens with another person.

Tapping can be helpful

I also am very clear that EFT is a powerful tool to aid that healing.  The impact on negative emotions is astounding.  The very premise of EFT is that the trauma and negative emotions are disruptions in our energy system.  It’s a different healing model that offers relief on an entirely different plane than traditional methods.

So here’s a tapping script of addressing that shame as we open up to working with another.  I’m using words that have meaning for me, you might find they work for you as well or they might inspire you to other words.  With all tapping, the more specific and meaningful the words are to you, the better.

Taking care

I normally don’t need to say this explicitly but in this case do feel the need to.  EFT is considered an experimental energy modality.  The information offered here is educational in nature and I am not a licensed mental health care professional.  I offer this information as an energy worker and self-help guide.  By choosing to read this post, each person takes responsibility for their own health and application of EFT.  If you feel fragile and vulnerable, please do not tap unless advised by your health care professional.

And having said all that, I tap whenever I darn well please and do not need a health care professional to suggest it.  😉


Set-Up (on the side of the hand points):

  • Even though I wish this had never happened, and telling someone about it will make it more real, I respect how I feel.
  • Even though I feel shame, and I don’t want to talk about it, I claim my right to talk or not.
  • Even though my power of choice was taken away, I am choosing now how I want to heal.

Beginning of Eyebrow: I wish this had never happened.

Side of the Eye:  I don’t want to talk about it.

Under the Eye:  I don’t want to make it real.

Nose:  I want it gone from my life.

Chin: All these feelings of powerless and pain and rage.

Collarbone:  It’s not my fault.

Under the Arm: So why do I have to deal with it?

Crown of the Head: It’s so unfair.

Beginning of Eyebrow: I wish this had never happened.

Side of the Eye:   And it did.

Under the Eye:  I wish it had never happened.

Nose: And it did.

Chin:   I felt powerless and hurt and rage.

Collarbone: And I can move through those feelings.

Under the Arm:  I can move through those feelings in a way that empowers me.

Crown of the Head:  I can move through this experience in a way that empowers me.

Beginning of Eyebrow:  I am not alone.

Side of the Eye: Even though this happened to me, I am not alone.

Under the Eye:  Even with what I feel, I am not alone.

Nose:  Healing is possible.

Chin:  Releasing this experience is possible.

Collarbone:  I am not my experience.

Under the Arm:  I do have choices.

Crown of the Head:  I claim my choices now.

Examples of healing with EFT  From their disclaimer: “Please note that some of these Trauma and Abuse cases are very severe and of long duration. If you have suffered abuse, please don’t read cases that might trigger strong emotions unless you are being counseled by a competent and licensed mental health professional trained in managing trauma.”    From their site:  “While many people have achieved results like this on a do-it-yourself basis, I must urge you to be conservative and enlist the help of a qualified professional.  This is because EFT can be deceptively powerful and buried issues can surface.”

Project Unbreakable

If you have already done some healing work, you might want to visit Project Unbreakable. The project shows images of men and women holding posters showing the words of their attackers.  You can look at the pictures and tap as you read them, you can submit your own poster, or you can choose to do something else entirely.  I find it very healing to see everyone’s picture.

Photo by Jf Brou

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Deborah Donndelinger

Deborah Donndelinger

I'm writing from Maryland, but my heart goes out all over the world. I'm cheering you on as you tackle the hard stuff, embrace the easy, and show up to help others.